Sound, Sound, No Sound

I have no life. I am dead to the world, buried so deep within myself that my eventual transfer in the soft, brown earth will be a welcomed change. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. Light is an illusion and the tunnel is endless. I am a community of one; a tree in the forest, alone and rootless. When I fall over I will not make a sound. No one will witness my death and no one will remember what came before.

I have no future, only a past, and that becomes harder and harder to contemplate as the days go by. I use memories to torture myself. Yesterday is one long, raw nerve. Everything that presents itself to my mind makes me flinch. I could run a razor across both wrists and nothing would come out. I don't bleed anymore. There is nothing left within me; not a drop of beauty or grace will leech from my veins no matter what instrument I use for its extraction.

I have no plan. No smaller or larger reason exists for me to carry on. The world has changed and not for the better. My muscles ache. My head hurts. My heart beats, but yearns no more. I am completely disinterested in moving forward. I see the end of the journey and the trip there just doesn't seem worth the effort. Why should I continue the struggle? Oblivion awaits me and I am ready.