Christianese

"Have a blessed day" is Christianese for "fuck off, you atheist bastard!"

Pat Tattoo

I'm going to get a picture of Pat Robertson tattooed on my ass. Closer my butt to thee, oh Lord. . .

One Feature

The one feature every religion shares with every other religion is a contempt for every other religion.

Password

The most commonly used online password is password, followed by 123456.

It's hard to believe anyone could possibly be that stupid. No, wait a minute. Tea Party. Dubya. Creationism. Jersey Shore. Check that, it isn't hard to believe at all. . .

Fifth, Sixth, and Seventh Columns

You can't focus on the enemy. You can't pick him out from a crowd. His face is like any other. The enemy isn't in one place. He is neither here nor there. He is here then gone then here again. The enemy isn't one people or type of person. He isn't black or white or he or she. He and she is indistinguishable. The enemy is all around. He surrounds us always. We know him intimately and wondrously well. The enemy is within. He is us and we are him. He is in the muscle and bone and blood. The enemy is damned. His creation was the original sin. And he is incapable of redemption.

Empty

empty
  a small room
ill lit
antiseptic
lifeless
lonely

once
  there were chairs
others
moving
talking
engaged

once
there was hope
hearts
and eyes
looking
forward

now
there is nothing
but the odor
of days
and nights
long gone

i am
a barren space
windowless
sunless
homeless
empty

Death Came For Me

Death came for me one June day. A patch of darkness silhouetted by the early summer sun. Her hands sweaty with wet grass and sprinkler dew. I stood tree-like, moving barely a branch. She approached and I rustled. I smiled and she winked. I bowed and she walked by.

In October she was back. A wrath as thin as a voice on the wind. Her cowl covered with colored leaves. Her shoes buckled with newly tilled earth. I sat on the porch swing and whistled. She walked up and I stopped. I spoke and she answered. I stood and she retreated.

December came and death returned. A hot breath in a room cold as paving stone. Her blue eyes filled with old tears and eternity. I danced a jig and clapped my hands. She nodded and I snapped my fingers. I sang and she hummed along. I leaned forward and she opened her arms.

T. Cruz T-Shirt

Ted Cruz has shed his Canadian dual citizenship, but he's still a huge fan of Terrence and Philip and reportedly still has the "Asses of Fire" t-shirt his dad bought him for his 30th birthday. Once a canuck, always a canuck, I guess.

The New Dick

The new Nixonism. "I AM a crook -- make no mistake about that -- but at least I'm not a woman, a minority, or gay. I'm just like you. Stupid and uninformed. Vote for me."

John D.

Behind every successful man is a trail of human refuse. Wealth makes room for itself by creating poverty. Every dollar in the bank is a dollar stolen from someone more deserving. If John D. Rockefeller had really been a devout Christian he never would have made a nickel.

Cynic and Realist

The difference between a cynic and a realist is easily discerned. A cynic doubts that he will ever be happy. A realist knows that he will not.

Twitter and McCain and the High Road

If you really want to bring about positive change in this country it's best to stay on issue and attack the message and not the messenger. Accusing an old man of treason -- and based upon unsubstantiated, forty-year-old hearsay "evidence" -- does not help the cause of veterans. McCain spent five and a half years as a prisoner of war in North Vietnam. That's a fact. Whatever information he divulged to the enemy under torture or threats of torture is conjecture. He wasn't released early from captivity and his family connections did not always work in his favor. That's a fact, too. I dislike the man intensely, but calling him a coward and a traitor just doesn't wash.

McCain has done more collaborating with big business against the interests of working class Americans since 1982 than he did with the Viet Cong against the American military between 1968 and 1973. Focusing on the later while ignoring the former is both politically  counterproductive and intellectually dishonest. If the Senator is selling out veterans -- and I think he is -- he is doing so today.  Questioning his patriotism, based on what he may or may not have done forty years ago and not on what he did or said last Tuesday is a mistake. And, what's worse, it looks bad. It only gives him the opportunity to pose in front the American flag and attack the motives of his critics.

I say give the man his due. Hero or collaborator, half a decade as a guest at the Hanoi Hilton was clearly no picnic. He was used by the North Vietnamese and such treatment leaves scars, both mental and physical. Leave his military record alone and attack his record in the Senate instead. He has a great deal to answer for politically. When describing McCain, I prefer dimwit, hypocrite, sociopath, and -- my favorite -- humorless opportunist hack born with, both, a silver spoon and a gold braid up his ass. If you give the matter some thought I'm sure you can come up with some apt adjectives for him and his more recent behavior also.

And remember. Once again. Don't attack the messenger, attack the message. When you attack the message your argument holds true no matter who you're debating. When you attack the messenger your argument dissolves when the person you're debating changes. Do your homework and take the high ground whenever possible. Don't let bad bile disrupt your brain chemistry. And don't piss off your allies if you can help it. No one's telling you what to think, I am only offering you a much needed alternative perspective. Morals declare war, but tactics win battles. Don't make martyrs of your enemies.