The Cheney Clan

The divine and the semi-divine, together again. Oh, to live in a country where the gods walk amongst us. . .

At Four A.M.

"Useless, useless. . ."
At four a.m. in the morning
Darkness streaming in
Through a half-blinded window
I feel a knife posed
Against bare skin
Not a cold blade heartlessly
Ready to pull liquid from
A pulsating vein
But warm steel waiting
To embrace then release
A lonely life.

This exhausted dreamer
Lids jammed tightly together
Lips bitten bloody
Cannot give up the ghost
In lieu of sleep  
Tired eyes search
Spider-webbed corners
And wonder if God is watching
Or dead on the cross
Or merely a myth
And I have no words for oblivion
But these.

VD

VD VD VD VD VD VD VD VD VD VD VD

Has anyone ever noticed that Valentine's Day and Venereal Disease have the same initials? Just coincidence? I think not.

VD VD VD VD VD VD VD VD VD VD VD

Not a Nugent Fan

Ted Nugent is a botched abortion who grew up and learned to play the guitar. His hate-filled, racist rhetoric should have been left in the garbage pail at the clinic.

Barf.jpg

This is just one of those cutesy online greeting cards that is supposed to be witty, but isn't. Obviously, the statistics are made up. Awesomeness is far too subjective a term to have any quantifiable meaning. The picture was probably pulled from another card and re-captioned. I see no connection between the faces or body positions of the children and the message they are supposedly exchanging. Are they saying that the more positive aspects of our personalities come from our mothers? That is a debatable proposition. In my family, most of us take after our father.

Here we have yet another example of someone trying to say something profound, but not having the skill or intelligence to communicate their idea accurately. The entire thing strikes me as both misconceived and poorly executed. It neither tugs on my heartstrings nor engages my funny-bone. It merely annoys me.

(NOTE: I am saving a copy of this graphic for future reference. I have named the new file: "barf.jpg.")

Gohmert

Everyone from Texas can't be an imbecile. I know people from Texas. They can dress themselves and speak in complete sentences and everything.

Mostly Dogs

Judging by the human candidates I see walking around the earth at the present time, Heaven is mostly dogs.

( I )

The evil we know is preferable to the evil we don't know. This is why it is so difficult to unseat incumbent politicians.

John Boehner

John Boehner

Not a real Speaker, but an amazing simulation. Well, maybe not amazing, but the suit and tie are believable.

More Online Quizzes

Which serial killer are you? I got Jeffrey Dahmer. I probably shouldn't have answered the "what do you like to cut up and put on your cornflakes" question with "under-aged Filipino boys." There's a lesson for you. Never go with D.

Happy Endings

Happy endings only occur in fairy-tales. All true stores end in desolation and death. Dragons breath fire, but the air that fills our lungs is cold and clammy. Life clings to our insides like diseased rags, heavy with pathos and perspiration.

An Evolution of Belief

I don't believe in a Christian God. I don't believe in the divinity of Jesus. I don't believe suffering can conquer death. I don't believe in the significance of horrible brutality. I don't believe in the Passion.

I believe in science and reason. I believe in Copernicus, Darwin, and Einstein. I believe in beauty and laughter. I believe in treating people with kindness and respect. I believe in a passion for life, not death.

The Donald and the Dorian

Donald Trump looks like the picture of Dorian Gray in the last chapter of Oscar Wilde's book. Every sin of a long, wicked life can be seen in his face. He looks like the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Mel Gibson isn't aging well either.

   

Cry Wolf

When the creature in the wool coat tries to rip your face off, it's a good indicator that the sheep you thought you were dealing with is a wolf in disguise.

Noonday Demon

Listening to the music of damaged guitars and deranged pianos. Learning the steps of the damned and the moves of the forsaken. I am dancing with the noonday demon.

Icelandic Defense Budget

All wars are economic in nature. Why should I waste time and money robbing and killing you if you don't have anything I want?

This explains why Iceland has never been invaded by a foreign power. Not enough people in neighboring countries like hot springs and herring to make the whole enterprise viable.

Bad On Air

We're all just gas bags expelling bad air. Some of us, however, are gassier than others.

Nancy Grace

For years I thought Nancy Grace was an old Lily Tomlin character. Now I think she may be a Muppet; an evil Muppet, a rogue Muppet.

Homeland Security

He was arrested as a suspected terrorist for trying to carry lip balm onto an airplane. When in custody, the Government found out he had recently blown up balloons for his child's birthday party and he was promptly sent to Guantanamo. Oh, and his name sounded vaguely Muslim.

Too Long By Half

The trouble with the world is Man. Once the human race is gone the earth will once again be a paradise. God should have stopped when he was ahead. Genesis was too long by half.

Every Beauty

Every beauty is accompanied by a hundred horrors. Every drop of insight is engulfed by a sea of stupidity. And sunlight is a tale told by the darkest patches of night.

Counting My Blessings

There are so many things wrong with the above graphic its hard to know what to complain about first. Yes, a positive attitude makes for a happier life. I get that. This doesn't mean, however, that we should ignore being price-gorged by the oil companies, let our family trash the house, or smile when our boss treats us like dirt. Mr Dave Willis' prose has the same effect on my central nervous system as finger nails dragged across a chalk board. I don't think this type of wisdom is especially wise or especially productive.

I don't have a job. I don't have a car. I don't have a house. I have anger. I have frustration. I have a bad heart. I don't feel especially blessed. There are plenty of people that are worse off than myself and, also, plenty of people who are better off than myself. Neither of these facts affect my own situation in the tiniest way. My life is horrible and I really don't see it getting better anytime soon. I appreciate the input, but believe me, being told to count my blessings isn't helpful. Thank you.

Chainsaws

After the 1974 release of the cult horror classic, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Stanley Tool unveiled a new ad campaign in which they assured their customers that "chainsaws don't kill people, people do."

Time Out

I'm taking time out from the porn to write this. . .

Politics 101

Democrat or Republican? Democrat, please. The lesser of two evils is still evil, I'll grant you that, but a plate of macaroni and cheese is still better than a bowl of dirt.

Capital Idea

The law doesn't kill people, other people do. For every life taken by the state it needs someone to pull the trigger, flip the switch, drop the door, or insert the needle.

Without the complicity of the executioner, there is no execution. Death is always a personal act.

Fame and Infamy

At one time, there was a difference between fame and infamy. A slap is as good as a kiss to a wicked child. If all you want is attention, it is as easily obtained with bad behavior as it is with good.

Think Too Much

You think it all means something, but it doesn't mean a thing. You think people are listening, but they've never heard a single word you've ever said. You think the world you see is the world everyone else sees, but it isn't.

The Problem Isn't Money

The problem isn't money. The problem is power. If rich people confined themselves to to the mere accumulation of material possessions I would have no problem with wealth at all. It is only when the rich attempt to use their money to control the lives of others that I have trouble with their behavior.

Rhythm of Rapture

It is an Armageddon of the mind. Death and damnation doled out by a destroyer God. Shove a sword into the hand of Jesus and force Him to smite the turned cheeks of the family next door. Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord and the Lord performs good service. He is our mechanical monkey. Wind him up and He bangs His cymbals in the face of our enemies. 

It is the rhythm of the Rapture. We are the evangelical army of the intolerant and the insane. Our ranks swell with the righteous few. We are the buckle of the Bible Belt. The militant remains of the antebellum South. Singing our own praises. Our fathers' strange fruit was left to rot on the vine, but we've preserved an apple to eat on Judgement Day.

Wimper and Bang

God has died a quiet death. No one noticed divinity passing from the world. We are now on our own. Maybe we always were. . .

Feathered

It's never going to happen. Whatever I've been waiting for. Whatever I've been working for. It's never going to happen. My days will end -- perhaps soon -- but the longing will go on forever. 

Others will touch. Others will wake and find their dream a reality. Others will live on memories of sweetness and light. But it will always be others. It will never be me.

Acceptance brings no relief and philosophy is a sham. There is no acceptance, only emptiness. There is no philosophy, only pain. All hope is false hope. I am feathered, but the bed is bare.

Hell Yes

I don't care if there's a Heaven, but I really want there to be a Hell. It doesn't have to be eternal. I wouldn't wish eternal suffering on anyone. Just a finite period of suffering to pay back a few people for all the suffering they've caused in their lifetimes. That would say justice for me. That would be a God I could respect.

Daily Drama

Sometimes I find myself sitting in the living room, anchored to a chair, unable to move. I place my hands over my face as the tears runs down my cheeks. I let the pain wash over me, but it has no cleansing effect. I remain dirty with emotion.

I can feel my body breaking down. The chemical elements that compose me are returning to the earth. Yet a single shaft of sunlight leaking through my fingers quickly re-assembles the world. The day takes shape before me and I stir.

I get up. I listen to music. I check my email. I go through the motions; thinking to find meaning in them. I'm being silly, I know. I'm killing myself slowly, but I don't care. I don't care about anything. Well, maybe one thing. Yes, definitely one thing.

This is a daily drama; a scenario that reenacts itself over and over again at respectable intervals. I'm tired of writing letters. I'm tired of phoning friends. I'm tired of pleading my case to the world. The jury is in and I've been given a life sentence which I must live out.

I return to my chair and stare out the window. . .

Kill All the Lawyers

Kill all the lawyers. Decapitate the judges. And bugger the police. Defenders of the status quo. Oppressors of the weak. Bullies and scoundrels all.

My Plan

Don't worry, I have a plan. I'm going to win the lottery, marry into royalty, and move to Mexico. Later on I'm going to win a Nobel Prize, cure cancer, and re-invent the wheel. I didn't say it was a feasible plan.

The Lion and the Lamb

When the lion and the lamb lay down together, the lamb inevitably gets eaten. There are predators and there are prey and their relationship with one another cannot easily be altered.

60 Minute Christianity

Religion didn't become a practical concern for the masses until its practice was reduced to one hour a week. Those who revere religion the most are usually those who have thought about it the least.

Hands to Do the Devil's Work

If you don't like what your opponent is saying cut out his tongue. If you can't do it personally have one of your minions do it for you. If one of them talks you can always have them silenced too. There isn't anything so morally repugnant that you can't get someone to do it for money. Cash trumps ethics. Deep pockets are more useful than the truth. There are always enough hands to do the devil's work.

Familiarity

Familiarity breeds contempt. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. What does this tell you about the average human being’s ability to live a harmonious life in the company of others?

Sound, Sound, No Sound

I have no life. I am dead to the world, buried so deep within myself that my eventual transfer in the soft, brown earth will be a welcomed change. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. Light is an illusion and the tunnel is endless. I am a community of one; a tree in the forest, alone and rootless. When I fall over I will not make a sound. No one will witness my death and no one will remember what came before.

I have no future, only a past, and that becomes harder and harder to contemplate as the days go by. I use memories to torture myself. Yesterday is one long, raw nerve. Everything that presents itself to my mind makes me flinch. I could run a razor across both wrists and nothing would come out. I don't bleed anymore. There is nothing left within me; not a drop of beauty or grace will leech from my veins no matter what instrument I use for its extraction.

I have no plan. No smaller or larger reason exists for me to carry on. The world has changed and not for the better. My muscles ache. My head hurts. My heart beats, but yearns no more. I am completely disinterested in moving forward. I see the end of the journey and the trip there just doesn't seem worth the effort. Why should I continue the struggle? Oblivion awaits me and I am ready.

Light Reading

We bang into each other clumsily and think we've shared a sublime moment, but it's all an illusion. When I die my life will be as much of a mystery to those around me as it was at birth. Our last real connection to another human being is severed when the doctor cuts our umbilical cord. The story is easily understood: Separation. Isolation. Alienation. Realization. Death. It all makes for light reading.

Beauty and Betrayal

People tend to equate physical attractiveness with soundness of character. Men and women with pleasing features and well proportioned bodies are thought better of by the general population than those with lesser appearances. This is clearly insane.

It has been my experience that there is absolutely no connection between one's features and one's moral fiber; yet even I fall victim to this fallacy. Every time I enter a room my eyes seek out the pretty women, not the smartest or the kindest or those with the most gentile manners.

Beauty inspires trust and trust is the only prerequisite for betrayal. We know intellectually that wickedness can just as easily come in a pleasing shape as any other, yet turn our heads and step into the trap as quickly and quietly as a cub alone in the woods for the first time

We never learn; even with a lifetime of experience to aid us. We remain vigilant against the old and the ugly and the infirm, but beauty is always given a free pass. I have no idea why this is so, but it is.

Clock and Bell

My clock ticks and your bell rings, but it's all a Cartesian coincidence. We share nothing, but our isolation from one another, our sense of desperation, and the knowledge of our own mortality. You are alone and so am I and so is every other person in the world.

Tree Alone

You can't speak loudly enough or eloquently enough to be heard by a world that isn't listening. You are a tree alone in the forest. Your fall will make no sound.

Broken

We are all broken. This is probably why the world is the way it is. How can we expect the machinery of the universe to function properly when its constitute parts are so malformed?

Some people try to mend the world by mending each other, some try to mend each other by mending the world, and some -- the pragmatic few -- sigh at the flawed nature of existence and try to live as best as they can amide the rubble.

 

I cannot fix myself, much less fix the world. However hard I focus on perfection, I will never be a whole person. If I were a puzzle I'd be missing a piece. I know how the canvus is supposed to look, but don't have the resources to complete the picture.

Plotting

I don't dream, I plot. Dreaming envisions only an end product. Plotting imagines the steps needed to achieve the aforementioned product.

Beyond

It's everyone and it's no one. It's everything and it's nothing. You think you know, but you don't. . .

Finger Tips

These days I'm just hanging on by my finger tips. How long I can keep that up is anyone's guess. . .